To: Ms. Shirley Mary Alexander
Date: January 24, 2019
From: Sin Jia Yun
Subject: Self-introduction of Sin Jia Yun
Dear Ms. Shirley,
I would like to use this opportunity to formally introduce myself. My name is Sin Jia Yun, a second-year Hospitality Business undergraduate at Singapore Institute of Technology. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a Diploma in Hotel and Leisure Facilities Management.
During my diploma studies, I was offered an opportunity to complete my internship as a front office trainee at OUE Limited’s flagship hotel, Mandarin Orchard Singapore. As I have yet to experience the facilities management aspect of my diploma, I decided to take a gap year upon my polytechnic graduation to work with E M Services, a facilities management firm. While I have learned a lot during my short stint with the company, taking a gap year has also ascertained my interest for the hotel industry. Therefore, I applied for this course and successfully secured a slot for the 2017 intake.
My communication strength is my open-mindedness to every individual’s opinion. As I believe that different perspectives will help to form better ideas, I am always keen in listening and understanding from another individual's point of view. This strength of mine allows me to achieve a more honest and productive conversation with everyone.
My weakness is the lack of confidence when presenting in front of a large crowd. While I am comfortable with initiating small talks with my peers and strangers, I always find myself shivering and stuttering during presentations.
Being in the service industry, I feel that having the ability to communicate effectively is extremely crucial. Therefore, through this module, I wish to improve my writing and communication skills in order to speak with greater confidence during presentations or in a public setting.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to your classes.
Yours sincerely,
Sin Jia Yun
Hi Jia Yun, you have a natural ability to liven things up. We do need live sparks in the classroom as well as in the hospitality business. You have the personality and ability to think on your feet. Let’s work together on bringing this out to your fullest potential.
ReplyDeleteContent- While a general sense of Jia Yun comes across, Para 1 & 2 can be much clearer about the career/brand you are pursuing – is it to be in the front office of resorts, leisure and hotels? If this professional pursuit is clearer, your topic sentences can become more related and relevant to the suite of skills you hope to develop.
Then the reason for wanting to speak confidently, present well, alongside your openness to new ventures will become a more compelling story to tell. Your subject line could go one step further to promote a desired dream/goal. May I suggest,
Jia Yun: Exploring New Horizons, New Adventures in Hospitaity!
Given your outgoing personality and genuine passion you will have ample opportunity to grow a career in resorts and leisure, personally and professionally, if you choose it.
Structure
Some points come across as a listing, but can benefit from being cohesively tied to the central point of exploring new experiences, ventures and horizons in hotels, resorts and facilities management.
Writing hints of a personal voice wanting to explore new horizon – and to break barriers when it comes to presenting to large groups has a genuine plea.
Go for it, girl and all the best! Shirley